CIA Headquarters Disappears in Recursive Quantum Loop

McLean, VA. The Central Intelligence Agency in a strange combination of attempts to avoid admitting they had engaged in torture, accidentally created a recursive quantum loop which caused the organization and its employees to disappear from this universe into parts unknown.

The problem began when CIA Director Michael Hayden created a committee to investigate the investigator who had been appointed to investigate the CIA Inspector General John Helgerson. The IG it seems had written a report criticizing the CIA's use of torture, rendition and the strange habit of putting mustard on their Freedom Fries. Dissatisfied with these unflattering reports, Hayden appointed a special investigator to investigate the Inspector General with the understanding that the IG was to be found at fault for everything since the Bay of Pigs Invasion in 1962.

Problems arose however when the Special Investigator reported back that there was nothing wrong with Inspector General John Heigerson's methods or conclusions. Hayden reportedly "blew a gasket" and accused the Inspector of being in league with the terrorists and hating America. Hayden then began forming a committee of investigators to get to the bottom of the whole affair which of course didn't really exist.

This is where quantum physics and the conscious universe stepped in. Since the ultimate goal of these investigations was non-existent, Hayden was essentially trying to divide by zero. The universe will only tolerate such nonsense for so long, and promptly drop kicked the entire organization into a more tolerant and forgiving universe.

As the full impact of this cosmic event takes effect, the entire history of the CIA will soon evaporate into the ether as if it never existed. The upside for the US economy will be a surge in funds, as the money formerly spent on Black Budget operations since it's founding in 1947 will now be incorporated back into the U.S. Treasury, causing an estimated surplus of 30 trillion dollars.

Since our memories of the organization will soon be erased as well, the White House has chosen not to comment on the event, but President Bush has already earmarked the 30 trillion dollars for tax relief for the struggling top 1%.