Senator Craig Not Gay But CIA

Washington, Oct 4 - Senator Larry E Craig of Idaho revealed today that he is not in fact a homosexual, but a CIA operative who was trying to pass secret messages in the Minnesota airport bathroom.

"At the time of my arrest, I was in fact an operative for the CIA, on a mission of National Security." Senator Craig stated at a press conference. "Officer Karsnia interfered with my mission and endangered the national security. In short, he's helping the terrorists win. The man I was intending to meet, was going to provide me hard information on the underhanded behavior that these terrorists engage in. I was very close to the climax of this investigation when Officer Karsnia blew my cover."

When asked for proof of these allegations by reporters the Senator replied: "Go ask the CIA, they'll deny it then you'll know it's true."

In fact the CIA has denied any connection to the Senator, and the Minnesota Airport Police Dept insists that no one blew anything on the Senator that June afternoon. This was enough for top Republicans to welcome Senator Craig back into the fold with open arms, and denounced the Minnesota Airport Police as a bunch of phony cops who like to kiss and tell.

John McNally contributing writer