Obama Declares Oprah As His Running Mate
Columbia, South Carolina - On the heels of his largest campaign audience ever, Senator Barack Obama stunned country this evening by announcing that Oprah Winfrey would be his running mate on the Democratic ticket.
Pundits were divided as to whether this was a shrewd move on the Senator's part or a further proof of his political naivete. "It's sheer genius!" Said Paul Gluckman, a political columnist for the NY Times. "It's following in the tradition of Reagan, Clint Eastwood and Arnold Schwarzenegger, but Oprah is bigger and better than all of them."
Chief among critics have been Obama's political opponents, particularly Hillary Clinton who upon hearing the news commented: "It's absolutely absurd! You wouldn't catch me using someone's celebrity status to further my own campaign ambitions."
Across the country, Obama's popularity has rocketed, easily surpassing Democratic front runner Hillary Clinton. In fact, a new Zogby poll due out tomorrow shows that the Obama-Winfrey ticket would not only win an election being held today, but they would beat all other candidates combined, be the next American Idol and the last Survivor.
Republican rivals are scrambling to try and match the star power of the new ticket. Former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani has asked radio commentator Rush Limbaugh to be his running mate, while Senator John McCain has asked rapper Jay-Z to be his Vice President. While there has been no official word from Jay-Z yet, a reporter caught John McCain rehearsing "Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem) "in an Iowa a men's room.
As lawmakers become concerned that unqualified people might find themselves elected to the Whitehouse, Hollywood agents are now taking courses in political science. "You want to follow your star to the top." Harry Elcrow said, a former agent for California Governor Arnold Schwarzennegger, "it's not enough to be a leading man or leading lady anymore, you need to be a leader as well, and the right agent can be right there as the next Karl Rove."
Pundits were divided as to whether this was a shrewd move on the Senator's part or a further proof of his political naivete. "It's sheer genius!" Said Paul Gluckman, a political columnist for the NY Times. "It's following in the tradition of Reagan, Clint Eastwood and Arnold Schwarzenegger, but Oprah is bigger and better than all of them."
Chief among critics have been Obama's political opponents, particularly Hillary Clinton who upon hearing the news commented: "It's absolutely absurd! You wouldn't catch me using someone's celebrity status to further my own campaign ambitions."
Across the country, Obama's popularity has rocketed, easily surpassing Democratic front runner Hillary Clinton. In fact, a new Zogby poll due out tomorrow shows that the Obama-Winfrey ticket would not only win an election being held today, but they would beat all other candidates combined, be the next American Idol and the last Survivor.
Republican rivals are scrambling to try and match the star power of the new ticket. Former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani has asked radio commentator Rush Limbaugh to be his running mate, while Senator John McCain has asked rapper Jay-Z to be his Vice President. While there has been no official word from Jay-Z yet, a reporter caught John McCain rehearsing "Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem) "in an Iowa a men's room.
As lawmakers become concerned that unqualified people might find themselves elected to the Whitehouse, Hollywood agents are now taking courses in political science. "You want to follow your star to the top." Harry Elcrow said, a former agent for California Governor Arnold Schwarzennegger, "it's not enough to be a leading man or leading lady anymore, you need to be a leader as well, and the right agent can be right there as the next Karl Rove."
Labels: Satire
posted by John at
11:29 PM
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