Paulson Plan Revealed: 700 Billion To Be Spent On Lotto Tickets

Washington DC, The House and Senate were shocked today to learn the details of Henry Paulson's plan to save Wall St. and the ailing US Economy.

"I intend to buy 700 Billion Lotto tickets, dividing the money up between all states that hold either Lotto or Powerball lotteries." Paulson announced to reporters on the steps of the Treasury Building. "It's well known that the odds of winning any given lottery are hundreds of millions to one, by investing in hundreds of millions of tickets in each state, I will even those odds and cash in on all the grand prizes." Paulson went on further to explain that since a portion of the money goes to each state that sponsors a lottery, it will stimulate their local economies.

And if there are any leftover funds after the initial investment? "Scratchers." Treasury Secretary Paulson said proudly, "lots of scratchers."